


Long-Term Planning for Dummies

by pinn



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Accidental Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 02:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6637339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinn/pseuds/pinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is holding up a piece of paper and Jamie's stomach, which had started to calm down, instantly feels worse. </p><p>"We're married!" Alex exclaims.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long-Term Planning for Dummies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [labellementeuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/labellementeuse/gifts).



> Labellementeuse's prompt for Tyler/Jamie was "a stupid misunderstanding story is ripe for a bit of the old angst or pining; gooey idfic also welcomed". Labellementuse also mentioned that they really liked woke-up-married fics. I started thinking about how people always expect Tyler to do that kind of thing and then this happened. Thanks as always to 7iris for the beta.

Jamie's not sure what originally wakes him up but his throbbing head and roiling stomach are what stops from falling back asleep. 

He's in Las Vegas for the NHL awards, has been since Tuesday, but he's definitely not in his hotel room. Based on the sound of the snoring next to him, he's also definitely not alone. Jamie's stomach flips and he forces himself to take a deep breath. It's probably nothing to worry about. He's almost starting to believe that when the bed shifts and someone with a heavy Russian accent says, "Morning, Benn!" 

Jamie would know that voice anywhere but he still looks over hoping that he's wrong. 

He's not. Alex Ovechkin is in his bed or perhaps more accurately, Jamie is Alex Ovechkin's bed. 

"Mmmphf," Jamie says. 

Alex pokes him in his ribs and tosses Jamie's phone down next to him.

"Hey, your phone ringing a lot. I think it's the mister," Alex says.

As if on cue, Jamie's phone starts buzzing. Jamie glances at the screen and sees that Tyler's trying to FaceTime with him. 

Tyler likes to call people over and over again until they pick up so Jamie decides to get it over with rather than listen to his phone buzz for the foreseeable future.

He hits accept and then holds the phone up to his face. As soon as the call is connected, Jamie mumbles, "Hey."

"Hello sunshine! You're looking like shit," Tyler chirps.

"That's so weird because I feel like shit," Jamie says.

"Considering how many drunk texts I got from you last night, that's not a shocker," Tyler says. He squints at the screen and asks, "Why does your room look different?"

"I somehow wound up crashing in Ovie's room last night," Jamie explains. He turns his phone so Tyler can see Ovie who waves enthusiastically.

"Hello Seguin!" Ovie shouts. 

Jamie winces at the noise but plasters a smile back on his face before he turns the phone back on himself.

"Damn, you must have been wasted. You hate sleeping in other people's rooms." 

"I have no idea. I don't remember much after midnight." Jamie pauses as a flash of the previous night comes back to him. "I think I did a bunch of shots with Burnzie and then P.K. told me that I had to stick with Ovie."

"Good job. Stick to me like glue," Ovie says. He climbs out of bed and Jamie is relieved to see that he's wearing underwear. 

Jamie flicks the phone quickly so Tyler can see Ovie's butt.

"Thanks, much appreciated," Tyler says dryly. 

"Anytime, babe."

"Are you still flying out tonight?" Tyler asks.

"Yeah, I think my flight's at six. Want me to check?"

Tyler shakes his head. "Nah, I'm not doing anything tonight, just hanging with the dogs and watching TV."

Before Jamie can find out what Tyler did last night, Alex yelps.

"Jamie, guess what?" Alex says excitedly.

Jamie turns to look at him. Alex is holding up a piece of paper and Jamie's stomach, which had started to calm down, instantly feels worse. 

"We're married!" Alex exclaims.

From his spot on the bed, Jamie can very clearly make out the heading at the top of the page which says 'Nevada Marriage Certificate'. At the bottom of the paper there are indistinct scrawls one of which looks like the signature Jamie uses when he's signing a bunch of promotional material. 

Tyler chokes and then says, "Did he just say what I think he said?"

"I said that we are married," Alex answers.

Tyler chokes again.

"What are the odds that this is a joke?" Jamie asks.

Alex stares at the paper and then looks up and off into the distance. He says, "No, I don't think so. Sort of remember standing next to you in a big room and P.K. laughing a lot."

"Fuck," Jamie breathes. 

"I can't believe you were so eager to get married that you ran off with the first hockey player who asked you," Tyler says.

Jamie recoils in horror and says, "That's not at all what happened."

"Settle down, I'm just kidding," Tyler snaps.

"What about me?" Alex asks. "Nastya will not like this."

"Soooo, you should probably hang up with me so you guys can call some people and get this fixed," Tyler interjects.

"Right, yes, get it fixed," Jamie says slowly. He tries to remember who he's supposed to call when things like this happen. "Should I call Rich or Jim?"

"Start with Rich. You know Jim's just going to make his 'I'm disappointed' face. You're too hungover for that," Tyler advises.

Jamie smiles at Tyler. He probably looks super dopey but he doesn't care. It took a long time for the two of them to get their shit together and learn how to be in a functional relationship. Now that they are though, it's pretty much the greatest thing ever. Jamie can't believe there are people out there who aren't dating someone who can gauge their hangover level and what kind of emotional blackmail they can handle.

He needs to make sure that Tyler is okay with this though. After all, Jamie did accidentally get married to someone else. This is not something that Jamie wants to fuck up their relationship. This is also not a conversation that Jamie wants to have in front Ovie.

Jamie says, "Good idea. Can I call you back later?"

"Oh please do. I want to hear all about Rich's reaction. Later!" Tyler says.

Jamie ends the call and falls backward onto the bed. "This sucks."

From his perch at the head of the bed, Alex says, "Good boyfriend, Jamie. Make sure you keep him. Not every boyfriend would be so nice about this. Lucky you not dating Crosby, very jealous." 

Jamie quickly decides that he doesn't want to know how Ovie knows about Crosby's jealousy issues. 

"I'm going to call my agent," Jamie says. "Is there anyone you need to call?"

Alex shrugs. "Not really. Your agent call my agent who call Brian. Nastya on her way to Russia now so I'll tell later."

Rich picks up almost immediately. He sounds so happy and won't stop congratulating Jamie on his awards. After a few minutes of Jamie trying to interrupt him and failing, Rich says, "So why are you calling? What can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, you're probably not going to be too happy after this," Jamie says.

"Try me," Rich replies.

"I got married last night," Jamie says in a rush.

Rich says nothing at first. Then he keeps saying nothing which is when Jamie starts to panic. "Rich?"

"Sorry, I was just pulling out the contingency plan I put together for this. I always figured you and Seguin would do something like this. I didn't think he came to Vegas with you. Did you fly him up separately just to do this?"

Rich, Jamie realizes, is under the impression that Jamie married Tyler last night.

"Uh, Rich," Jamie interrupts. "I didn't marry Tyler."

This time Rich's silence is ominous. When he speaks again, he says, "Just to be clear, you did not marry your long-term boyfriend last night?"

"Right," Jamie answers. He didn't think he could feel any worse than he did when he woke up. 

"Who did you marry?" Rich asks.

"Alex."

"How many times I tell you, Jamie? Call me Ovie," Alex says loudly.

Jamie drops his head forward until his chin is resting against his chest. 

"Is that Alex Ovechkin?" Rick asks.

"It's not _not_ Alex Ovechkin," Jamie answers. 

"Of all the people that you could have married, you picked Ovechkin?" Rich shouts. 

"Well," Jamie says. "I wouldn't say I picked him."

"What does that mean? Were you kidnapped?! That's illegal," Rich says.

"We were pretty drunk and it seemed like a good idea," Jamie says in a rush.

Rich curses and says, "Of all of my clients, hell of everyone in the NHL, you're the last person that I thought might do this. I figured you and Seguin would settle down in a few years, have a small civil ceremony, and I would send a serving tray that you would never use."

Rich is totally right, Jamie thinks blankly, they would never use a serving tray. Jamie's not even sure where they would put one. They combined their kitchens when Jamie moved into Tyler's place a few months ago and there's hardly any room left in the cabinets for food. Jamie focuses on Rich's voice as he keeps talking.

"I just didn't expect this from you," Rich continues.

"I know, I'm sorry," Jamie says. 

Rich sighs before he says, "All right, let me call David and we'll figure something out. Do you remember the name of the chapel?"

Since Jamie doesn't actually remember getting married, there's no chance he's going to remember the name of the chapel. He covers the phone mouthpiece and asks Alex, "Do you remember the name of the chapel?"

Alex looks at the certificate and says, "A Storybook Wedding."

Jamie grimaces and Alex shrugs. "Late at night, only place open. Beggars can't be choosers."

Jamie shakes his head and uncovers his mouthpiece. He says, "Rich, it's A Storybook Wedding."

"Jesus, okay. Don't go anywhere until you hear from one of us," Rich warns.

"Okay." Jamie hangs up and throws his phone onto the bed. After a few seconds, he says, "That went well."

Alex snorts in disbelief. "Bullshit. He call David?"

"Yeah, he's calling David now and we're supposed to stay in the room until we hear from them."

The bed moves under Jamie as Alex pushes himself off of it. 

"Room service?" Alex asks. "I'll buy. Consider it my wedding gift."

"Big spender," Jamie says. A big, greasy breakfast could be just what he needs to settle his stomach. "Yeah, that sounds good. Can you get me anything with bacon? I need to shower."

Alex waves his hand in acknowledgement as he flips through the menu. By the time Jamie's done showering and brushing his teeth, the food has arrived. Alex is already eating and Jamie joins him.

Alex looks up as Jamie approaches the table. He holds a glass out to Jamie and says, "I get Bloody Mary. Hair of the dog."

Jamie shrugs and takes the glass. He says, "Thanks." 

The two of them eat in silence for a while. When Jamie's finally feeling human again, he puts down his fork and asks, "So Nastya won't be mad at you about this?"

"No, she will be," Alex says. "But I get to make it up to her and that's fun too. Plus she know I like girls so won't worry. You think Tyler get mad?"

"He wasn't mad earlier but I don't know. It's weird." 

Alex 'hmms' and Jamie continues talking. "Rich said earlier that he had a plan ready to go for when Tyler and I did something like this. I haven't been thinking about getting married but now I'm wondering if I should be."

"You live together and you not think about marriage?" Alex asks. "What do you think about?"

"How great it is living together. How awesome Tyler is," Jamie answers dumbly. 

"You never think 'hey this is great and we both really happy. We should make it official'?"

"It was Tyler's idea to move in together. I didn't really think about what we would do after that," Jamie says. 

"You just go along like dumb cow," Alex observes. "Hope he asks you to marry him or you wind up at slaughterhouse."

Jamie opens his mouth to protest and then realizes that's exactly what he's done. 

"What should I do?" Jamie asks.

"How I know?" Alex retorts. "You gotta figure this out, you know your boyfriend better than I do."

The conversation stops after that. After they finish breakfast, Alex points to the bed and says, "Going back to sleep. You can too." 

Jamie nods. "Thanks. I think I will."

When they wake up again, it's late afternoon and Jamie's phone is buzzing.

Jamie fumbles for the phone and hits accept without even looking at the screen. He mumbles, "Hello."

"Hey, Jamie, it's Rich again. Good news, David and I got the ball rolling on the annulment, should be finalized in a week. We couldn't keep the media from finding out but we released a statement that you wouldn't be accepting any questions."

Jamie releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He says, "Thanks, Rich. I really appreciate this. Sorry about all the hassle."

"I don't think you need to worry about apologizing to me," Rich says. 

Jamie would really rather not think about that. He asks, "So we're free to go?"

"You're free to leave your hotel room. Give me a call next week, I'll have the annulment paperwork for you then plus there's some endorsement stuff that I want to go over with you," Rich says.

"Will do. Talk to you later," Jamie says.

Jamie hangs up and looks over at Alex. "Our marriage is over."

"Best marriage I had so far," Alex replies with a grin.

Not for the first time, Jamie wonders what it must be like to live Alex Ovechkin's life. 

"Can leave room now?" Alex asks.

Jamie nods and says, "Yep, annulment will be official next week sometime. Rich and David told people that we won't take any questions." He checks the time on his phone and says, "Shit, I need to get back to my room and get my shit together if I want to catch my flight."

Jamie launches himself off the bed and shoves his feet into his dress shoes. He looks at Alex who's still lounging in bed. Jamie says, "It's been real? See you in the fall."

"Not if I see you first!" Alex responds.

Jamie rolls his eyes and shakes his head. There are much worse people that Jamie could have wound up accidentally married to.

"Want some advice, Jamie Benn?" Alex asks.

"Sure," Jamie answers. 

"Need to figure out your plan. Can't just keep going along letting Tyler make all the decisions."

That's actually really good advice. Jamie says, "Thanks Alex. I appreciate it. I'm glad I married you."

"Hehe, yeah, you are," Alex laughs.

Jamie waves his hand at Alex and leaves. If he hustles, he can make his original flight. He won't have time to call Tyler but that's okay because they'll see each other tonight. 

Jamie manages to make his original flight and he's walking in the front door by 11 pm. He drops his bag by the door and throws his keys and phone on the hallway table. He turned his phone off while he was packing because he couldn't keep up with the texts and phone calls. Jamie stares at it and briefly considers turning it back on before he decides against it. Everything else can wait until he talks to Tyler. 

Jamie follows the sound of the TV to the living room where Tyler's sprawled on the couch, watching basketball.

"Hey babe," Tyler greets him. He shifts over so there's enough room for Jamie to lay down next to him and pats the couch invitingly.

Jamie settles in next to him and stares at the faded Stars logo on Tyler's shirt. He's got no clue how to talk about his mistake marriage or anything else.

"Are we going to talk about how you married Alex Ovechkin last night?" Tyler asks softly.

"Do we have to?" Jamie whines. He immediately feels ashamed. Tyler's given him the perfect opportunity to talk and now Jamie's trying to dodge it.

Tyler rests his hand on the back of Jamie's neck. "Yeah."

Jamie says, "I'm sorry. Are you mad?"

Tyler shrugs and says, "I was a little at first. Then I started laughing because I'm pretty sure of the two of us, no one expected you to pull this. It did suck a little when everyone and my mother sent me the link to that Beyoncé song."

"Which one?" Jamie asks.

"Single ladies," Tyler replies.

"Your mom really sent you the song too?"

"Yes! It was terrible." Jamie can't stop laughing and Tyler pinches him in his side. When Jamie's finally managed to stop laughing, Tyler says, "Whatever. Maybe I'll get married to Ovie at next year's awards. See how you like it."

"I don't think Nastya's going to let him out of her sight after this," Jamie says.

They lie in silence for a few minutes giving Jamie plenty of time to think about Alex's last words to him. 

Jamie pushes himself up on to his elbow and looks down at Tyler. He says, "I really am sorry. I don't even know how or why I agreed to it. I blame P.K."

"It's okay. I know we're good," Tyler says.

"Yeah but, like, could we be better?"

Tyler makes a confused face and asks, "What do you mean?"

"Rich said something on the phone. He said that he has a wedding plan already made up for us. And then Alex asked what my long-term plan for us is and I realized that I don't really have one," Jamie says.

Tyler's expression changes from confused to wary and Jamie feels like he's fucking it up. 

"Okay, but I don't really have a long-term plan or whatever for us either," Tyler says.

"So on the plane, I figured out my long-term plan. It's actually pretty simple. We should get married," Jamie explains.

Tyler's mouth forms an 'O' and he doesn't say anything. Jamie starts to panic again. It wasn't a great proposal but he didn't think it was too bad.

"Tyler?" Jamie asks. 

"Are you saying you want to put a ring on it?"

"If you want one, yeah," Jamie says. 

"Fucking right I want a ring," Tyler laughs. 

He pulls Jamie down for a kiss but stops at the last second. "You seemed pretty horrified at the thought of being married this morning."

"I was," Jamie admits. "Then I figured out that I'm okay with it as long as it's to you."

Tyler smiles and says, "Yeah, me too."

Later, after the dogs have been walked and Jamie and Tyler are curled up in bed together, Jamie nudges Tyler and asks, "Hey, do we need a serving tray?"

"Yeah, actually. Why?" Tyler answers.

"I think you're going to be pretty happy with Rich's gift then," Jamie says.

"Awesome," Tyler says sleepily.


End file.
